Weekly Newsletter #3 - An update on not getting a job
This week, I moved from "What am I doing with my life?" to "Here is my exact plan to make my first dollar online."
Inspiring Reading & First World Problems
I read the book The Pathless Path today. I really feel a resonance with my own struggles, except instead of going on the default path (of getting a job, work till retirement) after my PhD, I have taken an early stop here. An emergency stop because I hit catastrophic burnout.
I've been struggling with the uncertainty of whether I can make money this way? Beyond that, I am not really sure, what I want to do with my life.
When I was in the most miserable part of my PhD, I knew with certainty that I could not do academia or research anymore. There were parts that I thought I would love (reading papers, discovering the intricacies of working with reinforcement learning and training AI) but found issues with (papers are so hard to understand, and can be insanely hard to replicate with insufficient details, code problems) and it just felt like I was being dragged down the suffocating depths of failing despite trying my best. I hated the uncertainty of research, the pressure to produce a paper anyways, and now I am willingly choosing the path of uncertainly trying to write online again.
The problem is, pick uncertainty, or pick misery? I know I like remote work, and don't want a 9-to-5 because it comes with so much baggage, like going to work on site involves dressing up as a proper work peep (I think only women would understand, but the need to wear a bra for socially appropriate attire, is actually really a big minus. Took me years to realize that underwire is actually the worst, but that is a separate story. It is the heat, the discomfort and extra makeup onto that.) and all the social things that comes with having colleagues. Work does provide structure, opportunities, and money though.
The question now is: "How can I build a life that is sustainable (financially, emotionally) and aligned with my these needs (remote work, autonomy, something I find meaningful)?"
Smallest Viable Experiment
The question isn't "Can I make a living as a writer?"
The question is "Can I make $1 this week from writing?" Or, "Can I publish one article online that one person finds helpful?"
I have already been writing on substack, and creating on youtube, so it is more about exploring this medium and eventually 'finding my niche'. I keep worrying about my niche but this really shouldn't be the focus now, because the question is still 'do I write?'.
Instead of subscriptions / digital products, I found that you can technically make money from referrals, but realistically they don't pay you unless you give them a lot of referrals (you need to meet a threshold amount of money).
I do want to look into service-based work which everyone says is the first step to understanding your audience and what value you can provide.
The problem is: What am I offering?
I write about Obsidian PKM, Tech Automations & I have a PhD in Multi-Agent Reinforcement Learning (MARL) so decent familarity with AI. Honestly my best skill is problem-solving in this tech + note-taking space for automations... but do people want to buy this?
It may be easier to sell a digital product than consultancy here.
Right now, the value I provide is that I can study complex technical workflows, and explain them clearly. I am good at documenting with visuals.
Reflecting on My Issues
I am being rather dramatic, with the binary choices of the known misery of academia vs. the unknown uncertainty of the creator path. According to my AI therapist, "This is a classic 'fight or flight' response from a brain that's just survived a traumatic experience (and yes, a miserable PhD can be traumatic)."
Rather than running towards a creator's career, I am just running away from everything that reminds me of the default path which messed me up so.
The real choice isn't between two dreadful options. It's between:
A path I know drains me.
A process of discovery that is currently unsettling.
The misery of my PhD was partly the difficulty of the work, that I felt ill-equipped to do, but also the feeling of "failing despite trying my best," the "suffocating depths," and the "pressure to produce." That's a toxic cocktail of external validation, misaligned expectations, and a system that isn't built for genuine curiosity.
The PhD experience + general being in society experience was what made me realized that I don't enjoy the performative and often patriarchal expectations of traditional work environments. It’s not just about the underwire; it’s about the unspoken uniform you have to wear to be taken "seriously."
Pretty privilege is definitely a thing. Makeup on, and my youtube videos suddenly get a flood of compliments. Makeup off and trolls come. This is why writing is so freeing. No one knows who I am... except I am using a profile picture.
Writing anonymously is always an option. I rather enjoy the anonymity of reddit, even if it comes with lots of people fully leveraging this to troll, compared to substack.
It's about building a life that doesn't require the "unspoken uniform." But at the same time, I don't want to cut off an entire area of possibility because someone may point out a pimple, and be cruel. That isn't a good way to live.
Plan Moving Forward
Right now, the value I provide is that I can study complex technical workflows, and explain them clearly. I am good at documenting with visuals.
Target Audience: Someone (creator, writer, student, knowledge worker) drowning in a messy Obsidian vault. Not everyone wants to try and puzzle out how to implement the Zettelkasten.
I need to know, if people want to buy this.
AI coach says: It's not really easier to do digital product than consultancy. This is a common misconception because:
A digital product requires you to guess what people need, spend weeks or months building it in isolation, and then hope you guessed right when you launch.
A service requires you to have one conversation with one person, solve their specific problem, and get paid for it.
The service is the research. Working 1-on-1 is the fastest way to understand the true pain points, the language your audience uses, and what a valuable solution looks like. After you've done 5-10 paid "consulting" sessions, you will know exactly what digital product to build because your clients will have told you.
I really love this. I do get a lot of questions from my youtube videos. That is all data.
Tiny Little Experiment
The goal is not to build a business. The goal is to get one person to pay you. That single transaction is a mountain of data. It proves your skill is valuable. It breaks the old narrative.
Steps to take:
The Offer: Define a hyper-specific, low-risk service. Let's call it the "Tech Workflow Rescue Session."
What it is: A 60-minute 1-on-1 call where you help someone solve one specific problem related to their Obsidian/PKM, tech automation, or understanding a technical concept.
The Promise: "You bring the messy workflow, I'll bring the clarity. In one hour, we will untangle your problem and create a simple, visual action plan you can use immediately."
The Price: Pick a number that feels "low stakes" for both you and the client. This is about validation, not income. Something like $75 or $99. It's high enough that it's a real transaction (not a favor), but low enough that it's an impulse buy for someone in pain.
The "Launch": You don't need a website. You will announce this on the platforms where you already are.
Write a Substack post. Title it something like: "I'm Running an Experiment: Offering 3 'Tech Workflow Rescue' Sessions." In the post, be honest. Talk about your skill (translating complex tech into simple steps) and who you want to help.
Mention it on YouTube. At the end of your next video, say "By the way, if you're struggling with your own Obsidian setup, I'm opening up a few 1-on-1 sessions to help people get unstuck. Link in the description."
Find one or two online communities (a relevant Discord, Circle, or subreddit where it's okay to post this).
I like this. So much.
Have I implemented it? Haha. Soon. I have learned that I need to aim lower with ‘things I must do today’ in order to trick my brain into getting started on tasks.
Today's achievement, is that I read a book + wrote this.